Boundaries
With broader horizons beckoning I am in exuberant and chatty good form. I try to stay close to what I feel inside and keep writing.
In Berlin I have visited the Museum of Checkpoint Charlie (as know as wall museum). Through its presentation of the many ways people tried to escape East Germany, hot-air balloons, cars, suitcase, oiltank, underground gallery, sewing and wearing military costumes etc. etc. Behind the success stories there are thousand of people who were killed at the border. Some were chased and found even after they passed the gate, some were killed just a few months before the Wall collapsed. I read the memories of those people, surrended by belongings of the dead I could not stop crying and wondering why such tragedy happened.
Come to think of boundaries, not as macro level as the Berlin Wall, we all have boundaries or borders in person to person relations. I established mine that is thick, tall and firm to protect myself, because I felt comfortable in that protected area. Sometimes someone tried to be close to me and tried to jump the wall. That was the fear moment because I was cautious that they will break the place I built, and was afraid to eventually lose myself by the oddly close distance with them. So every time I re-built my wall higher and thicker so that no one can actually jump into the wall.
I also really did not realize there are boundaries in their side. I was so eager to be close to someone and did not care the approriate timing and force to knock the door. Trying to shorten the distance with others does not mean you can behave with your ego... sometimes I behaved like breaking the egg shell. Breaking other's boundary without thinking they want or not. The consequences were bad. There was an awkward moment and the distance got even far, they have to build the boundary again. That would be the worst thing in human relations.
So I learned the way to respect others as well as how to set proper boundaries. I also try not to make unnecessary connection with others, as I don't want to waste their time and mine. If there is fate to meet someone with whom you can make a bond, let the fate take its course. Otherwise, I enjoy being myself all alone.
Quoted from Nina's Life-Long Nap
In Berlin I have visited the Museum of Checkpoint Charlie (as know as wall museum). Through its presentation of the many ways people tried to escape East Germany, hot-air balloons, cars, suitcase, oiltank, underground gallery, sewing and wearing military costumes etc. etc. Behind the success stories there are thousand of people who were killed at the border. Some were chased and found even after they passed the gate, some were killed just a few months before the Wall collapsed. I read the memories of those people, surrended by belongings of the dead I could not stop crying and wondering why such tragedy happened.
Come to think of boundaries, not as macro level as the Berlin Wall, we all have boundaries or borders in person to person relations. I established mine that is thick, tall and firm to protect myself, because I felt comfortable in that protected area. Sometimes someone tried to be close to me and tried to jump the wall. That was the fear moment because I was cautious that they will break the place I built, and was afraid to eventually lose myself by the oddly close distance with them. So every time I re-built my wall higher and thicker so that no one can actually jump into the wall.
I also really did not realize there are boundaries in their side. I was so eager to be close to someone and did not care the approriate timing and force to knock the door. Trying to shorten the distance with others does not mean you can behave with your ego... sometimes I behaved like breaking the egg shell. Breaking other's boundary without thinking they want or not. The consequences were bad. There was an awkward moment and the distance got even far, they have to build the boundary again. That would be the worst thing in human relations.
So I learned the way to respect others as well as how to set proper boundaries. I also try not to make unnecessary connection with others, as I don't want to waste their time and mine. If there is fate to meet someone with whom you can make a bond, let the fate take its course. Otherwise, I enjoy being myself all alone.
Quoted from Nina's Life-Long Nap
