Pianists By Nina
I grew up surrounded by classical music. I played piano for quite a long time and one of my hobby is listening to piano.
Nobuyuki Tsujii (辻井伸行) is blind since he was born, but was gifted with a talent for music. I'm still in awe that one can play such incredibly touching piano... He can see the sound.
I would love to see his live performance.
[Chopin Revolutionary Etude]
[Cliburn Competition Preliminary Recital]
I also like Yundi Li (李雲迪)'s performance. He is the winner of International Chopin Competition in 2000.
[Yundi Li 14th International Chopin Competition (2000)]
Quoted from Nina's Life-Long Nap
(~The stage of Venus in Fur~) By Hikaru
I watched stage of Venus in Fur!
I felt that SM was taking root in one of the popular genres.
Only two people act this stage for 2hours.
I never felt boring till the end.
There was no whip and candles,
but I felt the smell of BDSM as well.
[SM not to use the tools for]
In other words, I think that there was the hint of the current theme called [ Cycle of drama for SM].
Should I say it POWER GAME!?
I seem to disagree, but my play style is [to use a lot of tools].
It is pleasant for present me to draw a full picture on the canvas with many tools.
But I know the beauty of the blank.
Even the blank lets you have a captive of enjoyment.
Not only techniques.
Not only mind.
Tie difference and difference with Heart!
Three dimensional world keeps the secret.
I love this world.
I walk today.
Quoted from ☆HIKALUX☆
I felt that SM was taking root in one of the popular genres.
Only two people act this stage for 2hours.
I never felt boring till the end.
There was no whip and candles,
but I felt the smell of BDSM as well.
[SM not to use the tools for]
In other words, I think that there was the hint of the current theme called [ Cycle of drama for SM].
Should I say it POWER GAME!?
I seem to disagree, but my play style is [to use a lot of tools].
It is pleasant for present me to draw a full picture on the canvas with many tools.
But I know the beauty of the blank.
Even the blank lets you have a captive of enjoyment.
Not only techniques.
Not only mind.
Tie difference and difference with Heart!
Three dimensional world keeps the secret.
I love this world.
I walk today.
Quoted from ☆HIKALUX☆
Boundaries
With broader horizons beckoning I am in exuberant and chatty good form. I try to stay close to what I feel inside and keep writing.
In Berlin I have visited the Museum of Checkpoint Charlie (as know as wall museum). Through its presentation of the many ways people tried to escape East Germany, hot-air balloons, cars, suitcase, oiltank, underground gallery, sewing and wearing military costumes etc. etc. Behind the success stories there are thousand of people who were killed at the border. Some were chased and found even after they passed the gate, some were killed just a few months before the Wall collapsed. I read the memories of those people, surrended by belongings of the dead I could not stop crying and wondering why such tragedy happened.
Come to think of boundaries, not as macro level as the Berlin Wall, we all have boundaries or borders in person to person relations. I established mine that is thick, tall and firm to protect myself, because I felt comfortable in that protected area. Sometimes someone tried to be close to me and tried to jump the wall. That was the fear moment because I was cautious that they will break the place I built, and was afraid to eventually lose myself by the oddly close distance with them. So every time I re-built my wall higher and thicker so that no one can actually jump into the wall.
I also really did not realize there are boundaries in their side. I was so eager to be close to someone and did not care the approriate timing and force to knock the door. Trying to shorten the distance with others does not mean you can behave with your ego... sometimes I behaved like breaking the egg shell. Breaking other's boundary without thinking they want or not. The consequences were bad. There was an awkward moment and the distance got even far, they have to build the boundary again. That would be the worst thing in human relations.
So I learned the way to respect others as well as how to set proper boundaries. I also try not to make unnecessary connection with others, as I don't want to waste their time and mine. If there is fate to meet someone with whom you can make a bond, let the fate take its course. Otherwise, I enjoy being myself all alone.
Quoted from Nina's Life-Long Nap
In Berlin I have visited the Museum of Checkpoint Charlie (as know as wall museum). Through its presentation of the many ways people tried to escape East Germany, hot-air balloons, cars, suitcase, oiltank, underground gallery, sewing and wearing military costumes etc. etc. Behind the success stories there are thousand of people who were killed at the border. Some were chased and found even after they passed the gate, some were killed just a few months before the Wall collapsed. I read the memories of those people, surrended by belongings of the dead I could not stop crying and wondering why such tragedy happened.
Come to think of boundaries, not as macro level as the Berlin Wall, we all have boundaries or borders in person to person relations. I established mine that is thick, tall and firm to protect myself, because I felt comfortable in that protected area. Sometimes someone tried to be close to me and tried to jump the wall. That was the fear moment because I was cautious that they will break the place I built, and was afraid to eventually lose myself by the oddly close distance with them. So every time I re-built my wall higher and thicker so that no one can actually jump into the wall.
I also really did not realize there are boundaries in their side. I was so eager to be close to someone and did not care the approriate timing and force to knock the door. Trying to shorten the distance with others does not mean you can behave with your ego... sometimes I behaved like breaking the egg shell. Breaking other's boundary without thinking they want or not. The consequences were bad. There was an awkward moment and the distance got even far, they have to build the boundary again. That would be the worst thing in human relations.
So I learned the way to respect others as well as how to set proper boundaries. I also try not to make unnecessary connection with others, as I don't want to waste their time and mine. If there is fate to meet someone with whom you can make a bond, let the fate take its course. Otherwise, I enjoy being myself all alone.
Quoted from Nina's Life-Long Nap
( VOYEURISM ) by Hikaru
( VOYEURISM )
2013⁄06⁄01(土) 10:24
Recent I had a very interesting session VOYEURISM.
If the BDSM is a game of catch,
mistress trough balls to slave on same consciousness.
But VOYEURIST never catch a ball,
it must be DEAD BALLS.
Can you guess?
How do they receive these dead balls?
Imagination is a key.
And you become closer in distance than a person because it is treated as a thing.
Motherhood ultimate with the domination.
If VOYEURIST is a sense to return to the body of mother,
You get rid of one's existence and may get deep sympathy...
(author HIKARU)
Quoted from ☆HIKALUX☆
2013⁄06⁄01(土) 10:24
Recent I had a very interesting session VOYEURISM.
If the BDSM is a game of catch,
mistress trough balls to slave on same consciousness.
But VOYEURIST never catch a ball,
it must be DEAD BALLS.
Can you guess?
How do they receive these dead balls?
Imagination is a key.
And you become closer in distance than a person because it is treated as a thing.
Motherhood ultimate with the domination.
If VOYEURIST is a sense to return to the body of mother,
You get rid of one's existence and may get deep sympathy...
(author HIKARU)
Quoted from ☆HIKALUX☆
Two Personas by Nina
Ever since I got a Mistress name I have been in a confusion. I haven't claimed this little agony to anyone because it seems non big issue to them and I thought I was too sensitive. Having two personas, a dominatrix (Nina) and melancholic myself (Real Name) have always conflicted inside of me. When I dominate Nina comes in front, when I'm off Nina recedes deep into the heart to take a rest, and me as a real name comes back and I can be myself.
Sometimes I made mistakes that wrong side of me comes out in a wrong situation. I spoke in a cold, demanding way in my private life and made them hurt. At times at work I wasn't really a good dominatrix when I wanted to hold true myself the fullest than Nina. Conflict it was, it was immature behavior of mine and I'm sorry.
There was a long silence during my holiday and I had a breakthrough - the conflict does not exist any more. I accept Nina is an integral part of me, a part of my devotion to BDSM. Separating the two personas in one body make the conflict, because there is only one core of me. It's like a tree, I have two branches, but the main body is one, that is the true myself no matter how many branches I have.
Two faces now integral, it connecting to the core of mine. So I no longer worry or make a mistake. I can relax and find happiness and freedom there.
Sometimes I made mistakes that wrong side of me comes out in a wrong situation. I spoke in a cold, demanding way in my private life and made them hurt. At times at work I wasn't really a good dominatrix when I wanted to hold true myself the fullest than Nina. Conflict it was, it was immature behavior of mine and I'm sorry.
There was a long silence during my holiday and I had a breakthrough - the conflict does not exist any more. I accept Nina is an integral part of me, a part of my devotion to BDSM. Separating the two personas in one body make the conflict, because there is only one core of me. It's like a tree, I have two branches, but the main body is one, that is the true myself no matter how many branches I have.
Two faces now integral, it connecting to the core of mine. So I no longer worry or make a mistake. I can relax and find happiness and freedom there.
